Etiquette Class

Okay, so if this wedding has taught me one thing... people can be really clueless. I've decided that it should absolutely be mandatory to learn things like... how to respond to a wedding invitation at some point in their life. I think high school would be an excellent place for such a class.

Seriously... the first unit would be on "How to use your cell phone appropriately" Nothing bothers me more.

Lesson One - Texting - Sure, it's quieter than a phone call, but it should still only be done at certain times. The police say, don't text while driving. Well, I say.....
Do not text while having a conversation with someone... they can see you aren't paying attention to them
Do not text while eating a meal, even if it is at your own house. Have a real conversation with a person.
Do not text in school or church... or any other social atmosphere where someone is trying to talk to you... have some respect.
If absolutely necessary, go ahead, text ONE TIME... don't keep popping open your phone.

Lesson Two - Taking phone calls
Unless there is some emergency... Don't answer your phone in a meeting. It is rude to everyone else in that meeting. None of them are answering their phones are they? Oh, and did you turn that ringer off? Something about hearing a 40 year old co-workers cell phone ring with "Soulja Boy" is a huge loss of respect. haha.

When in a public place, do not talk about closed doors subjects or use the speakerphone feature... everyone doesn't want to hear your conversation. Plus, the other person probably doesn't appreciate you allowing their conversation to be announced to everyone around.

Lesson Two - The art of Eating at home... or at a restaurant
It seems like people these days have spent too much time at McDonalds or other drive thrus and haven't had to learn any manners about eating because they are stuffing their face between one place and another. No, you don't have to be all prim and proper like people from centuries ago were, but you also don't have to chew with your mouth open or tell everyone how disgusting the food is. And oh my goodness, please do not blow your nose at the table. Sick. A few days ago, this guy blew his nose and I'm not talking a mere blow of the nose, it was a severe snot fest. I almost threw up. Anyway, when the bill comes, please for the sake of humanity, tip your server. Even if you thought the meal was terrible... that is the cook's fault. The cook is making big money whether the food is good or not. The server merely brings the food. They don't make good money unless you tip on the food they brought you. (Note: I also think it should be mandatory for everyone to be a server at some point in their lives. They'd become much better customers and tip a lot more freely)

Lesson Three - The art of driving like a civilized person
USE YOUR BLINKER. PEOPLE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. USE YOUR HEADLIGHTS... PEOPLE CAN'T SEE YOU IN THE DARK. DO NOT TAKE UP THREE PARKING SPOTS WHEN PARKING YOUR EXPEDITION. It is big, but it isn't a bus. Learn how to fit it in the parking spot please. End of lesson :)

Lesson Four - Weddings
When you receive an invitation in the mail... look closely at the names that were on the invitation. Was your name there? If not, sorry, you weren't invited... If so, proceed. Open the envelope... read the fancy words. On the small response card, write the names of the attendees or the people who were invited. Do not add a name. Review the options on the card... check yes/no chicken/fish/beef/etc. and put it in the little envelope provided that should also have a stamp on it. Tomorrow when you go to your mailbox, put it back in there and raise the little flag on the side of the box.
If you are sending out the invitations go over your guest list 10 times to make sure you included everyone. I know that I (believe it or not!) actually missed some people completely by mistake. When you are inviting over 200 people, it is easy to do. People usually don't come and ask why they weren't invited to the wedding, so you won't be able to realize that you completely left them off. So be sure to go over it a few times with your future spouse to make sure everyone is on there.
If you are not planning the wedding, please keep your opinion to yourself. The bride and groom are grown ups... they can make decisions for themselves. If they really want your opinion, they will ask for it. Let them know you are there to help, but please don't tell them how things HAVE to be done. Especially if you haven't planned a wedding in twenty years.


Alright... I'm done venting on some of my biggest pet peeves :) I'm really not Emily Post or anything... I just get really irritated when people are brazen and rude. But then again, maybe I'm just getting old. These things don't seem to bother younger people. In ten years, instead of holding a staff meeting, everyone will just text message with their boss while driving and eating their food with their mouths open.....