"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" James 4:1
In 16 months of being married, I have to say that Coach and I have done fairly well in not having many spats. But we have known each other for seven years and of course there are some issues that come up every once in awhile that makes one of us very... passionate... to put it nicely :)
I have to laugh when I think about some of our past go-rounds; the issues really are quite petty in the grand scheme of things. But at the time of the brawl, you'd think they were earth stopping issues. It seems that no matter what "it" is that we are fighting about, it all boils down to selfishness. A desire that either he or I are fighting within ourselves. Yes, I admit... I have selfish desires and *sometimes* believe that my way is the only way.
Selfishness. The opposite of love. In a marriage, selfishness will pull you in the opposite direction of achieving oneness with each other. I believe that a lot of society's problems can be summed up in that one little 11 letter word. Murder? Usually a result of selfishness. Adultery? Lust? Absolute selfishness. Stealing? You guessed it. Selfishness. Lying? Looking out for yourself. (In other words... selfishness)
Are you getting MY point yet? (grin)
In striving to be unselfish, we must focus on love. We all know the "Love" chapter of the Bible -- 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Here is the challenge: Can you put your name in the spot where it says love in each verse? Kacey is patient..... sigh... I'm already in trouble.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Couponing through College
Coach and I both have our bachelor's degrees and somehow we seem to have LESS money to go and do fun things now that we have graduated than we did while we were at college. Sigh.
But, I've found my niche in saving money. I have always used coupons, but this year, I've really gotten the system down and I think it is safe to say I'm addicted. How could you not be with savings like this?!
That's ONE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED dollars folks. Enough to pay for a Master's course for the big guy. Tell me couponing just "isn't worth the time"
But, I've found my niche in saving money. I have always used coupons, but this year, I've really gotten the system down and I think it is safe to say I'm addicted. How could you not be with savings like this?!
That's ONE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED dollars folks. Enough to pay for a Master's course for the big guy. Tell me couponing just "isn't worth the time"
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Turning Messes into Messages
FULL DISCLAIMER -- This post may reveal to you that I am a little off my rocker. That's okay. I write this with a full understanding that I am :)
A few weeks ago I did something ridiculous. In fact, it was so ridiculous, my mom would have hung her head in shame. I can hear her lecture right now. (Don't you know I JUST cleaned that up?...)
I've been in an "I don't care" mood lately, especially about housework. The house was in shambles and instead of cleaning, I had found much better things to do. On this particular day, I mustered up the "umph" to sweep and mop our kitchen floor and then I went grocery shopping. While I was putting the groceries away, I noticed that the potatoes that I just bought the week before had developed a nice puddle of stinky juice beneath them. B-E-A-utiful. I sat two bags of onions on the counter while I cleaned up the potato mess. Both bags proceeded to fall to the floor and the onion skins went flying everywhere. On my clean floor. So I decided since there was already a mess, I was just going to peel all the onion skins off and throw the skins right onto the floor since there was already a mess on the floor. The whole time I was doing it, I laughed. Hysterically. Almost an evil hysterical laugh. I felt like a little kid in a big pile of leaves... inside the house. Slightly stinky leaves. It was fun to break the rules..... until I realized that my kitchen floor looked like something off the TV show "Hoarders". I quickly got the broom and mop... I had to clean them up before my small mess turned into an unmanageable mess.
EEK!!!! A small mess can be easily cleaned up. But when the dirt keeps getting added to the pile, it gets harder and harder to clean up. It got me thinking.....
How many times in life do we see a mess and make it messier? We hear gossip and instead of stopping it, we pass it along the line (only as "information" of course). We see a person who doesn't fit our mold of normal and instead of loving them, we avoid and reject them. We are hurt by someone and instead of talking about it, we let the resentment build until it explodes. Someone says something to us in anger and we return the hurtful words instead of taming our tongues. OR... we see someone living in sin and we reject, avoid and condemn them instead of embracing them and loving them.
So often we don't think about the lasting consequences of our actions, especially when we don't see them immediately or experience them ourselves. I heard a story this week about a student at Rutgers University who committed suicide after his roommate streamed a video of his romantic encounter with another male. Instead of trying to accept and understand the young man, he made fun of him. This young man who had just started his college years now has to deal with legal issues coming out of the woodwork. This young man made a mess MUCH messier.
Instead of tossing more "dirt" towards people, we need to get out the brooms of love, the rags of kindness, the polish of patience and start helping to clean up, rather than tear down.
Some cleaning tips...
Stop gossip in it's tracks... before it hurts someone. When a sentence begins with "I shouldn't tell you this..." or "Don't tell anyone this..", it's usually bad news. Just simply stop the person before the rest of the sentence comes out of their mouth. No need to be rude, just make it known that you refuse to be a part of it.
Love on those who don't quite fit in or those who are in sin. Every human on this planet has a need for love, regardless of their life choices. A simple hug or smile can mean so much to people. We are to love the sinner and hate the sin. Jesus said the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). It doesn't say love your neighbor as yourself if your neighbor looks like you, talks like you, acts like you and/or believes like you.
Practice forgiveness... daily. Don't let resentment or anger build up. They make a big mess when they explode.
Romans 14 sums my thoughts up pretty well. I like the way the Message spells it out for us.
1 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
2-4For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
5Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.
6-9What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It's God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
10-12So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I'd say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we're all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren't going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:
"As I live and breathe," God says,
"every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God."
So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.
13-14Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I'm convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15-16If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don't eat, you're no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don't you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17-18God's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness' sake. It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19-21So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault. You're certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God's work among you, are you? I said it before and I'll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don't eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.
22-23Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.
A few weeks ago I did something ridiculous. In fact, it was so ridiculous, my mom would have hung her head in shame. I can hear her lecture right now. (Don't you know I JUST cleaned that up?...)
I've been in an "I don't care" mood lately, especially about housework. The house was in shambles and instead of cleaning, I had found much better things to do. On this particular day, I mustered up the "umph" to sweep and mop our kitchen floor and then I went grocery shopping. While I was putting the groceries away, I noticed that the potatoes that I just bought the week before had developed a nice puddle of stinky juice beneath them. B-E-A-utiful. I sat two bags of onions on the counter while I cleaned up the potato mess. Both bags proceeded to fall to the floor and the onion skins went flying everywhere. On my clean floor. So I decided since there was already a mess, I was just going to peel all the onion skins off and throw the skins right onto the floor since there was already a mess on the floor. The whole time I was doing it, I laughed. Hysterically. Almost an evil hysterical laugh. I felt like a little kid in a big pile of leaves... inside the house. Slightly stinky leaves. It was fun to break the rules..... until I realized that my kitchen floor looked like something off the TV show "Hoarders". I quickly got the broom and mop... I had to clean them up before my small mess turned into an unmanageable mess.
EEK!!!! A small mess can be easily cleaned up. But when the dirt keeps getting added to the pile, it gets harder and harder to clean up. It got me thinking.....
How many times in life do we see a mess and make it messier? We hear gossip and instead of stopping it, we pass it along the line (only as "information" of course). We see a person who doesn't fit our mold of normal and instead of loving them, we avoid and reject them. We are hurt by someone and instead of talking about it, we let the resentment build until it explodes. Someone says something to us in anger and we return the hurtful words instead of taming our tongues. OR... we see someone living in sin and we reject, avoid and condemn them instead of embracing them and loving them.
So often we don't think about the lasting consequences of our actions, especially when we don't see them immediately or experience them ourselves. I heard a story this week about a student at Rutgers University who committed suicide after his roommate streamed a video of his romantic encounter with another male. Instead of trying to accept and understand the young man, he made fun of him. This young man who had just started his college years now has to deal with legal issues coming out of the woodwork. This young man made a mess MUCH messier.
Instead of tossing more "dirt" towards people, we need to get out the brooms of love, the rags of kindness, the polish of patience and start helping to clean up, rather than tear down.
Some cleaning tips...
Stop gossip in it's tracks... before it hurts someone. When a sentence begins with "I shouldn't tell you this..." or "Don't tell anyone this..", it's usually bad news. Just simply stop the person before the rest of the sentence comes out of their mouth. No need to be rude, just make it known that you refuse to be a part of it.
Love on those who don't quite fit in or those who are in sin. Every human on this planet has a need for love, regardless of their life choices. A simple hug or smile can mean so much to people. We are to love the sinner and hate the sin. Jesus said the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). It doesn't say love your neighbor as yourself if your neighbor looks like you, talks like you, acts like you and/or believes like you.
Practice forgiveness... daily. Don't let resentment or anger build up. They make a big mess when they explode.
Romans 14 sums my thoughts up pretty well. I like the way the Message spells it out for us.
1 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
2-4For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
5Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.
6-9What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It's God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
10-12So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I'd say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we're all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren't going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:
"As I live and breathe," God says,
"every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God."
So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.
13-14Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I'm convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15-16If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don't eat, you're no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don't you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17-18God's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness' sake. It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19-21So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault. You're certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God's work among you, are you? I said it before and I'll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don't eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.
22-23Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.
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