The Monster of the Past

I have a monster in my past.

No, not those guys.  This is a big, ugly monster.  Some of you know about my monster.  And to some of you, my monster has been hiding in the closet.

Three years ago, I was newly married and looking forward to a new life with my handsome husband. We were in the midst of moving him North, moving me South and life came to a screeching halt.   I had been having a lot of funny symptoms -- from ringing in my ears to complete numbness from my ear to my neck, down my right arm and into my legs and feet.  I couldn't stay awake for more than a couple of hours.  I was constantly peeing (and I wasn't pregnant then!)  I found myself having a hard time finding the words I wanted to say and my vision was getting very blurry.  After a round of Doctors visits, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, just three weeks into my marriage.

My neurologist painted a bleak picture of life in a wheelchair and advised that my husband and I not have a family.  Not exactly what you want to hear as a newlywed.  I was sure my husband was going to leave me. But God knew what he was doing when he put my amazing husband in my life.  He blessed me with a man who has stood by my side, stood up for me and refused to settle for less than the life God has planned for both of us.  We cried.  We prayed.  We listened.  We waited.  And waited.  The answer didn't come over night, but trusting God as the ultimate physician proved to be the way to go.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 states "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Unlike Paul, I pleaded with God wayyyy more than 3 times to take the diagnosis away and I didn't hear God talking to me.  In fact, I didn't feel that He was anywhere around.  But I continued to pray, praise, wait and trust.  And little by little, He gave us answers.  Looking back, there is no doubt in my mind that He carried us through those tough few months or that He continues to do so.

Our three years have been much more exciting than the neurologist made them out to be.  We are preparing to have our first child and are looking forward to starting our family. I do ask for prayers of anyone out there willing to pray for us over the next few weeks.  Not only are we are preparing for a new child, but we are in the process of moving, buying a new house, and my husband starting a new job.  Stress creates the perfect storm for an attack of my disease on my body and I have had a few medical professionals remind me of this.  I am aware, but my Bible tells me to not worry about anything, but through everything present my requests to God and HE will take care of me! All I have seen has taught me to trust my Creator for all that I haven't seen!

Thank you in advance for your prayers my dear friends!

Trusting in Him,

KaceyBee

Why I'm going to be a mean mom

Since I've been pregnant, I have found myself watching kids misbehave  and asking myself "What did I get myself into?"   

Looking around, I see kids who push their parents around to try to get their way, and their parents believe that their children will be happiest if they get everything they want.  Kids want their own laptop when they are 5, a cell phone when they are 8, designer clothes when they are 10 and to go out on dates when they are 12.  These parents find it easier to tell their children yes... but I'm going to be the NO parent.  The mean parent. 

I've already started preparing myself for my son's declarations that I am the meanest mom in the whole world.  I don't know that I ever told my parents that, but I do remember thinking it.  Now that I look back though, I'm sure glad they were "mean".

So son, get ready...
Mommy will say no.... a lot.
Mommy will not make excuses for your behavior.... and there will be consequences.
Mommy is not going to get you everything you want, but will give you all the love and grace you need.
Mommy will make you do chores and get a job when you are old enough so that you can earn the things you want.
Mommy will expect more from you than the world expects.  She'll expect you to take responsibility, to be a leader and not a follower, to be a man of God.

Mommy is ready to be the meanest mom you'll ever have.  But she loves you dearly :) 

Growing Pains

WELL... my little bee-hind has been buzzing around everywhere but here.  Oops!

Only a small piece of our world has changed.... Coach and I are having a little one.  Cheerleader or football player, we aren't sure of which yet, but we are excited!

Pregnancy has been fairly easy and I try not to complain.  Last week I started having severe pain in the baby zone. Since this is the first pregnancy, I wasn't sure what was going on and was somewhat concerned. I had my doctor check my out and she assured me that it was a normal feeling.  Well it sure didn't FEEL normal.  It was uncomfortable.  She smiled and told me that baby was just growing. 

Sigh.  Growing is painful.  Later on I was still feeling uncomfortable and God reminded me of a verse in Scripture.  Isaiah 64:8 says "We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." Have you ever watched someone work with clay?  Their hands work to form a beautiful masterpiece, but the process involves kneading, pinching, pressure, and molding.  If the clay had feelings, it would certainly experience some pain.  But the end result is beauty. 

Okay God, I get it...  I guess I can deal with the slight aches and pains (and crazy hormones, dreams, and cravings!) along the next few months in order to have a beautiful bouncing baby :)