The Monster of the Past

I have a monster in my past.

No, not those guys.  This is a big, ugly monster.  Some of you know about my monster.  And to some of you, my monster has been hiding in the closet.

Three years ago, I was newly married and looking forward to a new life with my handsome husband. We were in the midst of moving him North, moving me South and life came to a screeching halt.   I had been having a lot of funny symptoms -- from ringing in my ears to complete numbness from my ear to my neck, down my right arm and into my legs and feet.  I couldn't stay awake for more than a couple of hours.  I was constantly peeing (and I wasn't pregnant then!)  I found myself having a hard time finding the words I wanted to say and my vision was getting very blurry.  After a round of Doctors visits, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, just three weeks into my marriage.

My neurologist painted a bleak picture of life in a wheelchair and advised that my husband and I not have a family.  Not exactly what you want to hear as a newlywed.  I was sure my husband was going to leave me. But God knew what he was doing when he put my amazing husband in my life.  He blessed me with a man who has stood by my side, stood up for me and refused to settle for less than the life God has planned for both of us.  We cried.  We prayed.  We listened.  We waited.  And waited.  The answer didn't come over night, but trusting God as the ultimate physician proved to be the way to go.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 states "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Unlike Paul, I pleaded with God wayyyy more than 3 times to take the diagnosis away and I didn't hear God talking to me.  In fact, I didn't feel that He was anywhere around.  But I continued to pray, praise, wait and trust.  And little by little, He gave us answers.  Looking back, there is no doubt in my mind that He carried us through those tough few months or that He continues to do so.

Our three years have been much more exciting than the neurologist made them out to be.  We are preparing to have our first child and are looking forward to starting our family. I do ask for prayers of anyone out there willing to pray for us over the next few weeks.  Not only are we are preparing for a new child, but we are in the process of moving, buying a new house, and my husband starting a new job.  Stress creates the perfect storm for an attack of my disease on my body and I have had a few medical professionals remind me of this.  I am aware, but my Bible tells me to not worry about anything, but through everything present my requests to God and HE will take care of me! All I have seen has taught me to trust my Creator for all that I haven't seen!

Thank you in advance for your prayers my dear friends!

Trusting in Him,

KaceyBee